Let's Make Halloween Better

on Thursday, January 27, 2011

There should be regulations on the candy you can give out.  Candy isn't healthy and we don't want kids getting too much unhealthy stuff.  Plus you'll make your poor neighbors feels bad if you give out better candy, so I think anyone giving out premium candy should be forced to give about half of it to all their neighbors who may not be able to afford to give out good candy... and that way all the homes will give out equal amounts of good candy.

It's totally not fair to let rich people give away huge candy bars and have all the kids love them more.  It's just letting the rich get richer because when the kids grow up they'll love the rich guys and probably pass laws that favor the rich people.

Better still, I think the government should issue a uniform standard issue candy supply for each household; that way every house will be equal and no one will feel bad and we'll be sure the candy doesn't have razor blades because each will have a government tamper-proof seal on it.

Further, the candy has to be healthy.  And there are only a few people who make healthy candy and HCA (Halloween Candy Administration) would test each candy for about ten years before approving it as kid safe and approved for use in government Halloween bags.